Hmm..

I've gone yet another couple days without posting.. I've had so much planned for this site but it's honestly very emotionally difficult to get myself to do it. Along with all the other things going on in my life it's just something I'm struggling to do. I won't give up on it, though. I promised myself success and I'm trying to make it happen. I keep going through this process of 5 days progress, ruining it. 3 more days progress, ruining it. 2 days progress, ruining it. 2 MORE days progress.. you get the idea. Last night I did quite a decent amount of damage. I currently haven't pulled in oh, let's say.. eighteen hours, fifteen..er.. sixteen minutes. (thank you stop watch for that information.) Anyway, we shall see how that goes. I am still taking the NAC, and I do notice a large amount of improvement in my urges still. It could be in my mind, but irregardless I'm still happy with it.

I've felt such a strange amount of stress surrounding my life recently that it's making it harder to tackle Trich. It's pretty well known that people with Trich are more likely to have things like depression, social issues, body issues, ect. I have all of those, specifically body issues. I've always been quite self-conscious due to my Trich, and thanks to that I've developed a lovely little eating habit that has progressively made me significantly overweight. It's mainly been to soothe myself when I'm feeling down, but I think it's also a mechanism of keeping people from getting close enough to notice my eyelashes. I mean, who wants face to face contact with someone who is overweight? It's silly, I know. This just goes to prove that Trich has invaded every corner of my life.

I'm very overwhelmed at the moment. If you have a few minutes, check out this girls video. She also has another one regarding Trich. This video is basically expressing her struggle with pulling out her hair. I may not pull from the same place as her, but it was very emotional for me to watch this since I feel a lot of the times the same struggle.

I think that's all for tonight.

Savannah
A Trichy Life

Back to square one.. again.

Sorry AGAIN for the lack of posts. Still feeling awful lately. Bleh.

Well I'd made it 5 days pull-free, then messed up a little, then made it two days, then messed up a little again, then made it almost a day.. and pulled out 85-90% of my progress. Big UGH! I'm trying to not let it get me down, through. I know it's just another hurdle in my path, and I know that I CAN do this. I still think that the NAC is helping. Though my urges aren't gone, they are surely not as strong as usual and I'm finding it much easier to go longer amounts of time without pulling. Unfortunately, once I start stopping is nearly impossible. I had some fantastic progress growing, my boyfriend was starting to notice them. I hate the fact that I can't just have my eyelashes and not want to tear them out. It's really just not fair.

I can understand that it isn't my fault, and I accept that. But I still sometimes (just like many of you'd, I'd guess) like to throw myself a little pity party and say I don't deserve this. It could be worse. It could be a terminal illness, it could be a severe physical disability. I get that. It doesn't make it any easier to have Trichotillomania. I am open about it here and with my boyfriend to an extent. Other than that, I am very private about it. It's mine, something that I don't want people involved in. But it feels good to write it out, in a sense. Mostly because I don't fear judgment here. And reading e-mails from people who say I am touching their lives in a small way is more gratifying than I can explain. It makes me want to strive to do better. And I will.

Goodnight guys, I'll be posting soon.

Savannah
A Trichy Life

Back to square one.

So, after five full days pull free I messed up and pulled some lashes out. Minimal damage, but still! I'm still hopeful that the NAC is working though. My urges have been almost non-existent, but everyone has set-backs. I guess I couldn't expect a miracle. As everyone knows as soon as you give into one pull you can't just do it once. So I kept going. But like I said it isn't THAT bad and I still have plenty of lashes coming in. It's just depressing. Seeing the days go by was nice.

But back to day one again starting now I guess. :/ Bleh, oh well I'll just have to keep trying.

Sorry for the short posts and my lack of them lately, I'm still feeling really bad. I'm getting a gallbladder scan this week to see if it's functioning properly, so we'll see how that goes.

Have a great night/day tomorrow everyone!


Savannah
A Trichy Life

Video on Trichotillomania on ABC

Hey guys, this is going to be a short one tonight but I want you to check this out!



http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=4524355


I think ABC showed Trich in a better life in 4 minutes than TLC did in 15.. but that's just my opinion.


Anyway, I started NAC (see my last post for info) today. I got it at GNC for $13 (so it's sort of affordable. I got 60 600mg capsules, and I take two a day. So basically it's $13 a month. But if it helps my Trich, it's worth it for me. We'll see how that works, and I'll obviously keep you all updated! I have been pull-free for almost 48 hrs.



More to come soon!

Savannah
A Trichy Life

N-Acetyl-Cysteine for Trich Treatment

Alright guys, N-Acetyl-Cysteine or NAC is one of the Trich treatment trends going on lately, so I decided to do some research!


"So.. what is it?" 
Well, here's the fancy definition: (from Wikipedia)

Acetylcysteine (rINN; ), also known as N-acetylcysteine or N-acetyl-L-cysteine (abbreviated NAC), is a pharmaceutical drug used mainly as a mucolytic agent and in the management of paracetamol (acetaminophen) overdose.

"Okay.. so what did that mean.. and why doesn't it mention Trich?"
Basically this means that NAC is an amino acid that is used both as a pharmaceutical and a nutritional supplement to treat/assist with quite a few different ailments. Regarding Trichotillomania, NAC has been shown in certain studies to greatly reduce the desires we have to pull. This supplement was NOT intended to be used for Trich, but it has shown promise that it can help with it as well as the many other conditions it can be used to treat.

According to the July 2009 issue of Archives of General Psychiatry, after 12 weeks, patients taking the active agent (NAC) had significantly greater reductions in hair-pulling symptoms than those taking placebo. “Fifty-six percent of patients ‘much or very much improved’ with N-acetylcysteine use compared with 16 percent taking placebo,” the authors write. “Significant improvement was initially noted after nine weeks of treatment.” None of the participants reported adverse effects from NAC.

This sounds like real promising information for a lot of us. I have gotten several e-mails from people saying it worked for them, but a few people have also said the effects for them were not long-term. There aren't any real long-term studies yet, so while it won't hurt to try it, I don't suggest thinking it will be a miracle for you. Also, many sites suggest that NAC be used as an addition to any treatment you are already recieving (like therapy), not just as your main treatment. I really don't think that there will ever be a magic pill to get rid of Trichotillomania. I have always been a believer that Trich is a disorder in it's own right, but also a symptom of some type of pain that has happened in our lives. That pain needs to be dealt with, not just medicated.


I hope this info was beneficial to someone, and please let me know if you try NAC. It should be available at most health food stores. I'd love to hear your expierence.


Oh and just to let you guys know, 27 hours and eighteen minutes pull-free for me! (I'm running my stop-watch on my phone, started after the last lash I pulled). I'm still feeling cruddy though. :( My specialist appointment is Thursday for all the gastrointestinal issues I've been having. I'll be trying to make my posts more regular (as in every 1-3 days).


Thanks for hangin' in there for me!

Savannah
A Trichy Life

Just an update-

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, I've been feeling awful lately.
I've been having random digestive problems (I think it's my gallbladder), and I'm waiting to see a specialist. I haven't had much motivation to blog since it's been particularly bad lately. :/ I promise I will be getting back to it and doing that NAC article very soon! I still want to hear from all of you as well- ideas for articles are always welcome!

As for my eyelashes, last night I did a little damage again, but I maintained a bit of control and didn't pull them all. I feel like my puling is leaps and bounds better in the past weeks, I'm crossing my fingers that it says that way!

Thank you for bearing with me, and please look back within the next day or two for the NAC article. :)

Savannah
A Trichy Life

I need your help!

I want to thank everyone who has sent me e-mails, and given me support regarding this blog. It makes me so happy to feel that my efforts are being appreciated, and maybe even helping someone out. That's all I'm trying to do here is help anyone I can get manage their Trichotillomania the best they can. I really do think that we all can do it. It'll just take some creativity and some work.

My question today is what else do you want to see from this site?
I'm looking for some topics regarding Trich that interest YOU. Have any ideas? Please, please send some e-mails. Have any cool ways you deal with your Trich that you think would benefit everyone else, let me know!

I respond to every single e-mail I get and I want all of your ideas. Even if you don't think it's a good one, send it anyway! Also, if you have any questions for me that you want me to post in a "Questions" blog, e-mail me with "questions" or "my question" as the subject and I'll post it!

Oh and just for a heads-up. Look for an article coming hopefully tomorrow night on  N-Acetyl Cysteine. I'm working on putting together as much info about this as possible. N-Acetyl Cysteine is an amino acid that is being tested in Trich treatment. I am trying to be as thorough as possible with this so bear with me.

On a not-so-great note my Trich reared it's ugly head again last night and I pulled out most of my progress. :( But I haven't pulled since before midnight last night so I'm trying again! Ugh, as we all know it's so difficult to not pull, but when you go almost pull-free for a few days and then ruin it it's a real downer. Oh well, better luck this time I hope. I want to beat my previous record of three weeks pull free so badly! I think that with time I will be able to do it. I am also hoping therapy will help, I am going to my second session at some point next week so let's keep our fingers crossed! I am getting really serious about this ever since I started this blog. I want to do everything I can to beat this, not only for me but to help other people do the same. And I will. :)

Have a great evening, everyone!

Savannah
A Trichy Life


P.S. I never said my e-mail address in this post, whoops! It's atrichylife@yahoo.com

My Strange Addiction- Review

Okay- for any of you who missed it, tonight (well last night I guess, it's 1:12 AM) TLC premiered a new episode of their show "My Strange Addiction". It is a show that showcases exactly what the title suggests- people who have odd addictions and a glimpse into their struggles. As I said in my last post, I was apprehensive about watching it, fearing it would make people with Trich look like freaks or weirdos. After watching it, though, my main reaction is kind of a "whatever". It wasn't BAD by any means, but it sure wasn't good either.

Here's what happened (I took plenty of notes LOL!)
The half-hour long show was actually based on two different "strange addictions": hair pulling, and a girl who was addicted to buying shoes and thought they had feelings. That immediately left me unsettled. I pull my eyelashes due to a real medical disorder- I don't talk to my high heels. Also, I didn't like how Trich literally had less than 15 minutes of air-time. But anyway, the woman that's story was being shown was a young mother named Haley. She pulls the hair from her head and eats the follicles, and has been doing so since she was sixteen years old. She has a (I believe) two year old daughter that has never seen her without the bandanna she wears whenever she is in contact with people. Her story in the beginning was a bit bland, and really never explained the reasoning behind her Trich except for her saying "it was like this drive inside of me" and that her "obsession with hair led (her) to hair pulling." It also started out a bit negative in the sense that when the text went across the screen explaining her Trich, it said "and even worse- Haley also eats her hair follicles." Okay- we get it, Trich sucks. But I'd rather not see the dramatic wording, especially since people who don't understand that this is actually an incredibly difficult thing to overcome are watching. Haley was mostly shown in her bathroom, pulling out her hair in pain because she had pulled so much her skin was sore. That scene was replayed a lot and should have been filled with more Trich info.

In another scene, she was shown talking to her best friend about her Trich, and how she felt about how it affects her relationships with people. She says "it makes me feel self-conscious, it's humiliating." She proceeds to show her friend her nearly bald head for the first time, and that was one of the true emotional parts of the episode. We all know that revealing our Trichotillomania can be so difficult, and I can't imagine doing it on television. In the episode Haley also visits with a Trichotillomania specialist, Dr. David Wartel. He describes Trich as a habit, which I was wholeheartedly annoyed with. I don't consider it a habit, or an addiction for that matter. I fully believe that it is a disorder due to a chemical imbalance in my brain that I did not purposefully start doing. Everyone will have their opinions, but I think fact should be what is reported on TV. The doctor really gave no good information. No science behind Trich was described, and no real treatment options were given. His best advice to Haley was to "count EVERY single hair and keep them", in order for her to be aware of what she is doing to gain control over this. While this is decent advice to start over-coming Trich, it isn't something that will stop her pulling necessarily and not anything we haven't heard before. Haley did describe a bit of the isolation us Trichsters feel though, which was good to hear. She said "I try to keep myself away from people", and described the loneliness of the disorder a bit. That is something that we can all relate to and may give people without Trich a little sympathy.

The show ended with this update on Haley:
"Haley still struggles with pulling hair. She realizes it will be a life-long battle." Nothing unexpected. We all know it's a life-long battle even if you're years pull-free. Maybe if she had gotten some real help from that specialist. But irregardless, I really just wish that TLC had put more time and research into this issue. It could have been great, but it flopped and was pretty much unsatisfying to me at least. One thing I do want to say though is a congratulations to Haley for her bravery, even though TLC didn't do their part, she sure did hers. I know it must have been so difficult for her to put herself and her Trichotillomania out in that way, and speaking for everyone in the Trich community- we're proud of you girl!


That's all for tonight, folks. I hope everyone isda doing well, and I'd love any feedback you have on the episode!
Savannah


PS: Three days, I've only pulled nine lashes. It might not sound like much, but not too shabby for me when there's other lashes there!

My Strange Addiction

TLC's "My Strange Addiction" is as show that features people with very out there addictions (drinking laundry soap, eating chalk.. ect.). Their show which is on Wednesdays at 9/8c will feature Trichotillomania on 1/12/11. The woman in the show is a hair puller who eats the follicles from the hair she pulls out. I plan to definitely watch this and put up a review. I am very apprehensive and nervous about this episode, to be honest. I don't want Trich to be shown as a weird or strange thing, and I really hope TLC uses this opportunity to give information about this disorder, not poke fun at it. I am honestly also really nervous that people I know may see it and think of me, especially if the show does turn out to be just poking fun at the disorder. The last thing any Trich sufferers need is people finding out they have it in the wrong way. I want people to be correctly informed, not made to think that it's a joke. I also don't like that it is being referred to as an "addiction". Trichotillomania is a disorder. Ah well, we shall see I guess. If any of you watch this PLEASE send me your feedback so I can include it in my blog post! Anyway, I am currently almost two days pull free, except for one lash. I have been picking at them a lot, but I'm trying hard to stop and keep myself busy. This will be another short one, I've had a headache for the past few days so writing is tough. Longer posts ahead!

Savannah

Therapy

Okay so I started therapy again today, but first I want to link you guys to a GREAT Trich resource website. Check it out!

                                                                   WWW.TRICH.ORG

Anyway, therapy went surprisingly well. I really liked my new therapist. She was really friendly and helpful for my first appointment at least. I definitely think I'm going back. We didn't really address the Trich so much the first session (more my anxiety and depression), but I think we'll get to it. I don't have much else to say about it so this post will be brief. Especially since I'm exhausted! I'm 24 hours pull free, though! :)

Treatments

As many people with Trichotillomania undestand, treatment for this disorder is so limited. Most doctors best advice is to "make fists" and "say no", which again as anyone with Trich will know, is plain rediculous. If making fists and saying no made Trich go away, I'd have been rid of this years ago. There are a few other treatments and tricks to being pull-free, though, here's a list of some of the most common. I'll also note what I tried and my success.

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: "a form of therapy that seeks to alter behavior by identifying the precise factors that trigger hair pulling and learning skills to interrupt and redirect responses to those triggers" (trich.org)
In a nutshell this is basic therapy, I've tried it and it did nothing for me. I am a person whose Trich has no real triggers, and this therapy often focuses on finding triggers and re-directing. If you feel your Trich is triggered by something distinct, I'd suggest trying CBT out. 
 
2. Covering your hands with gloves during times your tend to pull (ex: at night)
Now I won't rule this one out, but again, it is something I've had no success with. I've found it really just masks the problem and causes stress. That stress just made me want to pull more. It could work for people who are better with controlling their pulling, but for me it's a no-go.

3. Making fists when you go to pull, and saying "no!" out loud.
I've gotten this from several doctors. I usually don't recognize when I'm pulling right away, so personally this one is another flop. It's supposed to cause a subconscious link with pulling and the word no, and theoretically it could work. Just not for me.

4. Medication.
Medications (usually antidepressants) can be given to help alleviate urges. They have never worked for me personally but I know a few people who have had success.

5. Hypnotherapy.
Okay, it sounds out there. I know most people have reservations about this sort of thing, but it isn't as strange as you'd think. You're not actually "hypnotized", at least my hypnotherapist wasn't that way. I sat in a recliner in a dimly lit room with noise-canceling headphones. The guy spoke calmly through something so I could hear him through the headphones, and helped me get into a state of total relaxation. I was almost asleep, and he started making suggestions on how to not pull. I had to listen to recordings of the sessions with him nightly, and for awhile it really did work but then I stopped going because I had a lot going on. I really suggest it.

6. Cut out the sugar and caffiene.
I have heard from a lot of people say that this helps with urges. This one I've never really tried, but if you do, let me know how it goes!

Bottom line, there is no set "cure" for Trichotillomania. There are tons of things you can try, though, and I suggest trying as many as you can. If you think you are ready to start working towards being pull-free, here's some easier methods to try before you delve into something like medication or therapy:

1. For a week, write down when you pull whenever you can, along with where you are and what your mood is at the time. Keeping track of your Trich gives you some power over it, and can help you learn how to avoid certain situations that you are more likely to pull in.

2. Journal, journal, journal. Write your thoughts, emotions, anything you have to. Trich is known to occur more in emotional individuals or people who have had something negative happen to them. Working out these problems can also help with your Trich.

3. Make small goals. Say "I won't pull for an hour" and if you make it, go for another, and so on. And I can't stress this enough: track your progress. Being able to see what you can do is an awesome motivator.

Have any other tricks for Trich? Let me know! Comment, or email me (my email is in the sidebar and in my "contact" page.)

Savannah.

My Story

So, I started this off unsure about saying who I am. I'm still not to keen on the idea of posting my identity, since as anyone with Trichotillomania knows it is sort of a "hidden" disorder. Anyway, I decided my first name (which is Savannah) is something I'm comfortable with saying. I also decided that I'd kind of start this blog off on a personal note, with my own Trichotillomania story. I started picking at my eyelashes at 1 1/2 years old, my family thinks it's because my mom had cancer around that time and was constantly in and out of the hospital. I didn't start literally pulling them out until I was 2 or so. My parents had me in therapy VERY early, around three or four. I hated it. One of my earliest therapy memories is a therapist advising my parents to sew gloves onto the ends of my pajamas. I was probably four, and I had a complete breakdown in the office. What kid wants to have that done? I guess I felt like I was being punished, and nobody understood I didn't want to do it- I just had to.

Fast-forward through years of more awful therapists and being forced to sleep with gloves on (I usually took them off, the sewing them on thing didn't last long), when I was eleven or so I tried hypnotherapy. It took well, surprisingly. For maybe six months or so I did fantastic. Then I stopped listening to the CD's at night, and it gradually wore off. I don't think I could have kept it up even if I attempted to, I was supposed to listen to half-hour CD's nightly and it just didn't work. After that I honestly gave up for a few years and just lived my life. I've never had a problem with bullying really, I've always hid it well even though I basically never have any eyelashes. Of course I've had those few awkward moments where people ask questions, but again while I'm being honest I've always lied my way out of it. The longest "pull free" period I've had is maybe two months ago when I stopped for three weeks. It was great, but stress took over and I pulled again. I've always dealt with my Trichotillomania privately, and refused most of my parents attempts at helping me. I do genuinely hope I can beat this someday. It's tough because Trich has basically always been a part of me, it's my release in many aspects. I think it has damaged me socially because I have always tried to not be too noticed, and it has broken my self-esteem in a lot of ways. In another aspect it's something that is going to be emotionally hard to let go of, I can't imagine NOT doing it ever again. In a way that thought is wonderful, in a way it's scary, and in another it's a little saddening. It's hard to hate something that's a part of myself.

I am planning on starting Monday to see if I can beat my three week run. I'm hoping blogging about it can help me learn about myself and how to stop pulling, and hopefully I'll help someone else in the process. I'll post my progress daily, or as much as I can. I'm starting therapy again for the first time in a long time as well. I'm nervous, but we'll see.

Also check out my top links for my info if you want to contact me!
Savannah.

Hello all, and welcome!
This first post will be a tad brief, but I just want to summarize what this blog is and what it will be about. Trichotillomania (see my "What Is Trichotillomania?" tab!) is a disorder that is not often openly talked about, and I want to change that. I have had Trich for sixteen years personally, so I understand the struggles, embarrassment, and the frustration regarding the lack of medical knowledge about the disorder. I will try to post any and all of the latest treatments, tips, and ideas to beat the "trich monster" that we all know too well. Also, I want to provide support and information for families and friends of people who have Trich, and I will provide contact info to anyone who needs help with their own Trich journey, or that of someone they love. This blog will also contain pieces of my own journey, and I will post my struggles and accomplishments as I try to beat this disorder. I'm so excited to help anyone I can with this since I have never had help myself, and I hope this blog becomes a source of help and inspiration to anyone who needs it.

xoxo